Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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