i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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