Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
