Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
