DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
