margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
