How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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