If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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