I don't think brook has ever known best
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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