Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
