i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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