Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
