I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
