so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
