the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
