Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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