she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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