If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
