stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
