No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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