I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
