glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize