Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
