tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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