I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I love you.
Bad choice
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