Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
