I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize