you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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