i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
