I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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