Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
