his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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