her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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