And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
