Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
