Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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