I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
