Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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