Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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