I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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