the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
