What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
