OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think people are normalizing furries
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
