lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
