Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
