would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
