There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
