I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
