***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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