i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
