her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
