I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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