my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize