you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
