your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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