at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
