Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
