guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
