he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
