I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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