Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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