and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
