Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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