Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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